Money and Kilts

“I got one! I got a silver dollar!”

“The best catch of the day.”

“Can I keep it?”

The Scotsman laughed sarcastically and raised an eyebrow. “Nice try, Lad; we’re playin’ catch-and-release,” he reminded the boy.

Dudley wrinkled his bill and tossed his catch back over the side of the balcony. The silver coin caught the light as it fell downward, like a firefly, and then the vault chimed with the sound of it landing against its fellow coins and jewels. The thirteen-year-old watched as it fell and then looked up at his great uncle when the soft cling resounded around them. The multi-billionaire had his eyes closed and a smile spread over his lips once the ringing had died away. The old duck laughed childishly and adjusted his pince-nez glasses. “Ah just love that sound,” he said. “Absolutely beautiful.”

Dudley recast his fishing line over the balcony where he and his uncle sat, their feet hanging over the edge overlooking the deep money bin. “Beautiful, sure,” he muttered. “But I don’t see the point in fishin’ for dough if ya can’t keep any of it.”

“Ah keep it all,” Scrooge replied as he reeled his in.

“That’s because you own it all!”

Scrooge chuckled before pulling a thousand dollar bill off of his line and waving it in his nephew’s face. “Aye, but I had to catch it all before keepin’ it,” he reminded the boy.

“I know, I know; work smart and you’ll get rich.”

“Nooo; work smart and you’ll get your just reward!”

“But Pop said—!”

Scrooge brought up his hand and held Dudley’s mouth closed. “Ah’ve got a feelin’ Ah’m not going to like your Papa’s reasonin’, so don’t say it,” he grumbled. “Or else you’ll get what’s comin’ to ya!”

Dudley giggled behind his uncle’s hand and watched him toss his dollar bill over the side of the balcony before looking down at the traditional clothing the man had on. “I like it when you wear your Scottish clothes, Unca Scrooge,” he said with a smile.

Scrooge smiled back as he recast. “Thank you, Laddie,” he replied. He looked at the boy. “Ah like your apparel too.”

Dudley looked down at the clothes he was wearing and smiled. “Mom let me wear the kilt today,” he said. He stared over the side of the balcony as his smile diminished and his eyes grew dark. “But I got teased again. Some kids make fun of me and say that I’m wearin’ a dress.”

“Pfff; Ah got the same treatment when I arrived in America at your age, Dudley,” Scrooge reassured him. “Some people don’t understand traditions of older lands. Ya just have tah stomach it most of the time.”

“I know. It’s just hard to sometimes.”

“Never won’t be.” Scrooge crossed his legs and cleared his throat. “Ah still get laughed at when I wear it in public.”

Dudley widened his eyes. “Why don’t you get them arrested then?” he asked.

Scrooge frowned at this. “Arrested?” he echoed.

“Yeah! No one can make fun of the richest duck in the world!”

“Ya don’t arrest people for makin’ fun of ye, either,” Scrooge scolded while shaking a finger in the boy’s face. “That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is that they make fun of you,” Dudley argued as he pushed his uncle’s finger aside. “If they knew how powerful you were, they wouldn’t dare!”

“Aye, but what’s the point of being an honest worker if ya make everyone afraid of you?” Scrooge pointed out.

“But—!”

“Dudley, the last time Ah did something to frighten people, it ruined me. On the inside.” Scrooge reeled in another catch as his eyes darkened. “Ah lost a family Ah could’ve kept; Ah lost a sister and her darlin’ daughter; Ah lost sight of everythin’ that meant somethin’ to me… If it hadn’t been for your father and your cousins, Ah wouldn’t be who I am today. Your Great Aunt Matilda would probably still hate me. And Miss Goldie probably wouldn’t be sendin’ me letters every now and then.” He grabbed a dollar bill as his line came up and looked at his nephew. “And if Ah used my power to scare people and get what I want…” He held out the bill and set it down in Dudley’s hand. “… Then you’d be too scared to spend time with me.”

Dudley waited for him to pull his hand away before looking at the bill in his hand. It was not often that his penny-pinching uncle would willingly set a dollar bill in someone’s hand, so he was uncertain if it meant he could keep it or not.

Scrooge placed his hands around his fishing rod and stared over his money bin. “I gave a bad name to the name McDuck when Ah became rich, Lad,” he said. “Ah let people believe what they will, but doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. There were many times after the events that broke up our family, where Ah was tempted to pack up me things and go back home. To Scotland. Live out the rest of me life alone, in a land I was familiar with but was not welcome in… Ah suppose like punishment. But one thing me Papa taught me that I’ll always remember is to never be afraid of facin’ your mistakes. No matter how many ya make, or how big they were, it’s better to admit you were wrong and keep movin’ on. It took a long time for me to understand that, but along with that wisdom came the patience with people who couldn’t accept differences. Who dinnae want to. And frightenin’ them into acceptin’ them won’t make things easier. Or better.”

He held up the edge of his kilt. “Ah wear this because Ah’m proud of being Scottish,” he said. “It reminds me that, while Ah’ve made me mistakes, my homeland will always be willing to forgive and forget. So while people still giggle at the idea of a grown man wearin’—dare I say it—a skirt, a true Scot will know that I wear it because Ah’m proud of who Ah am today.”

Scrooge smiled and pointed at Dudley’s kilt. “And Ah’m proud that someone from my American relatives enjoys wearin’ a kilt as much as I do. You’ll never catch Huey, Dewey an’ Louie wearing one, nor your Papa. So it warms me heart to know that someone as young as you, from a generation of Americans that think it’s silly to wear clothes they don’t understand, would be proud to wear a kilt. The only thing Ah ask of you now, Laddie, is that you keep wearin’ it because you respect it and enjoy it. Because while it may make others laugh at you, it makes me feel like Ah’m not the only Scot in this city.”

Dudley beamed at these words. To make Scrooge proud of something was a rare thing. “I will, Unca Scrooge, I promise,” he said as he swung his legs back and forth. “It may look like a skirt, but I still think it’s the coolest thing I’ve got in my wardrobe.” He leaned towards his uncle with a laugh. “Btw, do you still have that silly drawing I did when I was five? The one with—!”

“Ah do, but Ah had to hide it away because your cousins kept tryin’ to go through me closet for jokes,” Scrooge replied with a laugh of his own. “They keep searchin’ for this so-called Turkey Day kilt ya claimed Ah had.”

“They do realize that I was just coloring those for fun, right?” When Scrooge looked at him from the corner of his eye and grinned, Dudley gaped. “Wait, do you really have—!”

“Nooo, of course not,” Scrooge chuckled with a shake of his head. “But for respect’s sake, Ah had to hide the picture away in case yer Aunt Matilda came over. She’s a little more traditional than Ah am, so she may have been offended.”

“It’s offensive?”

“Well, considering you were a wee lad, Ah don’t think so. But some people may. We Scots take great pride in our heritage.”

“I was only colorin’ it for fun. Do remember that I was just doing that because I thought it would be neat if you had a kilt for special holidays I was familiar with.”

Scrooge placed an arm around the boy and rubbed his shoulder. “Ah know, Lad,” he said. “And even though it irritated me that your cousins couldn’t stop teasin’ me about it, Ah did like the variety you had. Considerin’ who you are, I’d wear those colors if needed.” He pulled himself away from the boy and went back to his money fishing. “Maybe not the Valentine’s Day one, but that’s for personal reasons.”

Dudley giggled behind his hand until he felt the weight on the hook of his line tug. It was not often that he felt something that heavy, and so he reeled it in as fast as he could, only to gasp in wonder at the caught he had made this time. “Oh wow!” he exclaimed, reaching for the ring carrying a giant ruby on it. “I got me a gem!”

“Ahh, one of the jewels I brought back with me from me last African treasure hunt with the boys,” Scrooge noted. “Worth ten thousand dollars.”

“Geez, Mom would love somethin’ like this on her finger.”

“If ya want it, you can keep it.”

Dudley had to let those words register in his mind before turning and staring at Scrooge with wide eyes. “I can?” he said.

Scrooge smiled from the corner of his eye. “Aye,” he replied.

“You mean you’re actually giving me something from your vault?”

“Aye.”

“… Are you feeling okay, Unca Scrooge?”

Scrooge chuckled in reply. “Take it or else Ah’ll change me mind,” he said behind giggles.

Dudley flashed a toothy grin and held up the jewel to his eyes, soaking in its beauty like rays of sun after a rainy day. The gem twinkled and sparkled in the light, like a star that had fallen from the sky. That’s what Uncle Scrooge’s Money Bin was full of; rare and priceless stars.

But after a moment, the glow seemed less extravagant than he had thought it was. Dudley’s smile slowly diminished, and after a moment of thought, he wrinkled his bill and shook his head. “Naw, not worth it,” he muttered while tossing the jewel back over the side of the balcony.

Scrooge watched him do so with shock. “Are you feeling okay, Lad?” he asked. When Dudley simply stared back at him, Scrooge pointed at him. “You were the one complaining about Catch-and-Release earlier, so why did you just release a priceless gem?”

“I’ve got a certain amount of dignity as an American, Unca Scrooge,” Dudley replied while pointing at himself. “I’ll wear a skirt; but not a girl’s piece of jewelry.”

Scrooge scoffed at this and frowned. “First off, it’s not a skirt, it’s a kilt,” he scolded. “And second, that ring was worn by a King, not a Queen. Ah just gave ya ten thousand dollars worth of a jewel, and ya toss it back in?”

Dudley was already smiling by the time his uncle had finished complaining. He laughed behind his hand before patting his uncle on the back. “Best to keep the big boys in the pond,” he said. “It gives us a better prize to fish for next time.”

Scrooge raised an eyebrow at these words before smiling. “Huey would have ran off with it the moment I gave it to him,” he muttered. “Ah’m glad to see one of me great nephews has a bit of common sense.”

The sound of the office door opening was heard, so the two of them turned around in their spots and stared into the room from the vault’s opening. “Uh, Mithter McDuck, you in here?” came Fenton’s voice.

“Aye, in here, Lad,” Scrooge called back. As soon as Fenton’s head came into view, he added, “What is it?”

Fenton pointed over his shoulder. “Eh, Launchpad’s here to talk about thomething important,” he said. “And your nephew Donald’s come to pick up hith thon.”

Scrooge groaned. “That overgrown dope probably crashed another one of me planes,” he muttered. With a nod of his head, he added, “Send Donald in, Fenton.”

“Yethir!” The accountant immediately slipped out of sight.

Dudley let out a moan as he set his fishing rod aside. “Dad should stay at Disney longer,” he said.

“Not that Ah don’t enjoy our time together either, Dudley, but Ah do have a job to get back to anyhow,” Scrooge replied as he rose to his feet and then helped the boy up as well. “And you have homework to finish.”

They walked into the office just as someone came in through the doors again. Donald waddled in, dressed in his usual trademark clothes. He was about to greet his uncle and son when he noticed what they were wearing and fell silent. Scrooge noticed it and glared, all the while placing his hands on his hips. “Ah know what you’ll say, so say it before Ah lose my patience, Nehew,” he snapped.

Donald looked from the man to his boy, and Dudley could clearly see that he was trying to fight the temptation of commenting on the kilts—while Donald did respect and understand the meaning of it, he had always thought it was funny that his son would wear it, and often teasingly blamed Scrooge for that. Seeing his father fight the urge to speak his mind made Dudley choke on a laugh and cover his mouth.

Donald swallowed before placing his hands behind his back. “Uh… no comment,” he mumbled.

Scrooge rolled his eyes before pointing at the coat rack. “His back pack and coat are there,” he said while walking to his desk.

“Thanks for taking him after school again, Uncle Scrooge,” Donald said as he grabbed his son’s things. “We still on for a family dinner this Friday?”

“Aye, six sharp at my mansion.”

“Yessir. C’mon, Dudley; Mom’s waiting in the car.”

Dudley walked after his father as Donald left the room but stopped shortly. He pulled out the dollar bill Scrooge had given him earlier and then turned around and ran to his uncle’s desk. There, Scrooge had already begun to do more book keeping.

Dudley stopped next to him and held out the slip of money, something that took Scrooge by surprise. “Here, Unc, I think you forgot to take this back,” he said.

Scrooge blinked before smiling warmly and closing his nephew’s hand around the money. “This one you should keep,” he said. “It’s only a five dollar bill anyway. Buy yourself something with it.”

“Really?”

“Consider it my thanks for being my little Scottish Partner.”

Dudley grinned at these words and stuffed the money back into his pocket before running for the exit. He waved back at the man. “See ya later, Unca Scrooge,” he said.

“Goodbye, Lad.”

Dudley closed the door quietly behind him and said goodbye to his cousins, Fenton and Scrooge’s secretary before joining his father at the other end of the room. There, Donald opened the door and let him through, but not without looking on in wonder at the dollar bill his son took out of his pocket. “Where’d’ya get that?” he asked.

“Unca Scrooge gave it to me,” he replied.

“Wow, that’s impressive. He never did that to me.”

Dudley smiled at these words and rolling his eyes.

“You want me to stop by the candy store so you can buy something with it?”

“Naw, I’m gonna put this away in a safe place,” Dudley replied.

Donald furrowed his brow. “Why?” he asked. “Ya don’t wanna spend it?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Same reason Unca Scrooge doesn’t spend his Old Number One; it’s special.”

“How’s a dollar bill special? I mean, I understand Old Number One but… five dollars?”

“It’s the first slip of free cash that I got from my rich great uncle that isn’t a Christmas Gift. And that’s special.”

Donald looked on in silence before rolling his eyes with a grin. “Ahright, I’ll pretend to not be jealous,” he said.

“But can we still go to the candy store, Pop? And get our usual?”

“That we can.”

Dudley put away his money and took his things from his father. “I’m real glad I’ve got a family like ours, with such a neat background,” he said.

Donald rubbed the boy’s head. “You’re not so bad an addition yourself, Buddy.”